Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Hau`oli Hânuka! 
Happy Hanukkah!

I'm going to see if my car will run eight days without oil.

It strikes me as a fun project. But the Torah says "do not tempt the Lord thy G-d!" And the local rabbi tells me to appreciate miracles, but do not put myself in the position of relying on them - even though I do just that every time I talk to a girl in a bar.

As if to demonstrate the goyim and descendents of Ishmael don't have a lock on stupidity, the word's gone out in some circles that Jews should "light one less candle" in order to save the planet.

Of all the dumbass things I've heard liberals suggest, this has got to be the dumbest.

No, we're gonna keep the silver and blue wrapping paper and all the trees we destroy in the process of making that wrapping paper. That's not a problem.

And apparently, we're going to keep the rank consumerism that has infected Hanukkah with all the worst attributes of Christmas. That's not a problem.

And apparently, we're gonna light one less candle. But if lighting one less candle makes any sense, why not dispense with the candles altogether? Yeah, that's a great idea.

I sincerely hope that this is simply a prank to discredit liberal Jews.

If liberal Jews had a lick of sense, they'd be suggesting things that actually make a friggin' difference. Like converting from lox and nova, which requires a smoking process that releases CO2 into the air like mad, and signing on with salmon sashimi.

And how about not sending Jewish kids on trips to Israel? That uses up a lot of jet fuel right there.

While we're at it, how about we ease up on all those flights between LaGuardia and Miami?

Are these people serious or not?

Splash, out


Update: Jack M at Ace of Spades is promising to burn "the biggest damn yule log I can fit into my fireplace." Required reading.

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