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Thursday, August 24, 2006

Countercolumn News Ticker 
Pluto demoted from planetary ranks ...
"Behavior unacceptable," say astronomists ...
Vows revenge ...

Escaped Austrian kidnap victim lends false hope to thousands ...

Area graphics firm bankrupts self designing own logo ...

Al Qaeda announces venue for quarterly "Last Throes" banquet ...

Pro-War Milblogger insists we're winning, that girlfriend is faithful ...

Area brigade staff officer has another good idea ...

Pluto swells to 50,000 times normal size ...
"Who's a planet now, BEEEEAAATCH?!?!?!?!"

World Jews announce that they have been secretly controlled by an international cabal of drunken Irishmen ...

Slaying raises campus security concerns for everybody except one ...

Developing ...

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