Friday, May 19, 2006
Thousands of deceased servicemembers named DoD "Employee of the month"
WASHINGTON - 19 May 04 - CNS - In a move designed to provide motivation and inspiration to troops still in the field, the Department of Defense named more than 2,500 deceased servicemen and women as posthumous "Defense Department Employees of the Month."
Each servicemember so named is slated to recieve a premium parking space at the Pentagon for the next thirty days, a $25 gift certificate to Macy's, and a pair of movie passes to Bureauplex Theaters.
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld issued a prepared statement, saying "Are we proud of our servicemen? Absolutely! Are we happy that they won't be here to accept their plaques and free movie passes in person? Heck, no! Are we going to redistribute the movie passes among Pentagon employees? You bet!"
When asked by a reporter if the decision to redistribute the movie passes didn't seem a little inappropriate, given that the only reason the new employee of the month honorees weren't there to claim their movie passes was that they were dead, Rumsfeld responded, "Goodness gracious, no! Look, the movie passes expire at the end of the month. What else are we going to do with them? ... Sometimes you have to give the perks to the employees you have - not the employees you wish you had."
President Bush congratulated family members of the deceased, and publicly thanked them for their loved one's sacrifices and selfless service in the cause of freedom appearing under a banner reading "Because There's no 'I' in TEAM."
Impacting ...
Comments:
Haaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaha....
[not the employees you wish you had]
I split my sides!
Haaaaahahahahahahahahahaha...
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[not the employees you wish you had]
I split my sides!
Haaaaahahahahahahahahahaha...
# posted by 
: 1:45 AM
: 1:45 AM
