COUNTERCOLUMN: All Your Bias Are Belong to Us

but here it is, cut and pasted from the comments section of Neil Hayden's blog.

Worthwhile mostly for the juicy digs at the Air Force. My comments are in caps.

Link:

http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/006797.html

TEXT FOLLOWS:

The Post-Gazette's idiot -- I notice that he says, "A former Air Force logistics officer had some words of advice for us in the Fourth Estate on his blog, Moltenthought...."

A former Air Force logistics officer with a handful of ad hominems. You forget that some of us have met Air Force officers. If this one likes ad hominems so much try this one on for size: Being in the Air Force means that his brain doesn't work below 5,000 feet. If a war started at 1500 on a Friday the Air Force wouldn't find out until 0800 the following Monday morning.

Back when he was spending mornings playing golf and evenings squatting on a barstool in an air conditioned officers' club, the grown-ups were learning that the world doesn't work the way he thinks it does. WHAT IS IT WITH THE AD HOMINEMS? I MEAN, I'LL SLAM SOMEONE IF HE'S AN IDIOT. BUT I WON'T HANG A WHOLE ARGUMENT ON AN AD HOMINEM. YOU MUST DEAL WITH FACTS.

Let's look at other parts of that article:

For instance, it took five days for National Guard troops to arrive in strength on the scene in Homestead, Fla. after Hurricane Andrew hit in 1992.

1992 -- remember that was Bush I, back when FEMA was a nice sinecure for political hacks. That was before Clinton cleaned it up and put in professional disaster managers -- grown-ups with experience, not the frat boys and failures that the Bushes -- father and son -- dumped there.

When were those other hurricanes that Jack Kelly quotes Jason van Steenwyk (who he mentions is a Florida National guardsman, with no other mention of his expertise in disaster planning): ACTUALLY, HE DOES. HE MENTIONS THAT I'VE BEEN MOBILIZED SIX TIMES (AT THE TIME IT WAS FIVE) FOR DIFFERENT HURRICANES.

The federal response here was faster than Hugo, faster than Andrew, faster than Iniki, faster than Francine and Jeanne.

Hurricane Hugo, 1989
Hurricane Andrew, 1992
Hurricane Iniki, Hawaii, 1992
Hurricane Francine, 2004
Hurricane Jeanne, 2004

How amazingly wonderful that no hurricanes struck the United States while Clinton was president and James Lee Witt was director of FEMA!

Or could it be that hurricanes did strike the United States, and fast and effective mobilization and federal disaster relief mitigated the effects?

Yeah, the latter.

EVIDENCE? AFTER ALL, BUSH WAS CRITICIZED FOR REACTING TO CHARLEY TOO FAST! I MADE NO MENTION OF HURRICANES IN FLORIDA DURING THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT I WAS NOT HERE. IS THE COMMENTER'S POINT THAT THE FEDERAL TIMELINE FOR HURRICANE FLOYD WAS FASTER THAN FOR, SAY, CHARLIE? MAYBE, MAYBE NOT. THE ANECDOTAL EVIDENCE I HAVE COME ACROSS SAYS OTHERWISE.

As far as Air Force logistics officers, apparently they've fogotten how to count on their fingers. People went into the shelters on Sunday. The levees broke on Monday. The first official aid came on Wednesday, WRONG, GENIUS. THE COAST GUARD WAS ALREADY RUNNING RESCUE MISSIONS BY COB TUESDAY, AND THE NAVY ALREADY HAD THE AIR ASSETS FROM AN AMPHIBIOUS GROUP ON STATION BY THEN. in the form of palletloads pushed off the backs of trucks that didn't even slow down. HEH. TRY PUSHING A PALLET LOAD OF MRES. Too little, and by then three days in. YEP. THAT'S ABOUT THE STANDARD FOR THE BEGINNING OF A FEDERAL RESPONSE TIMELINE. HAS BEEN FOR YEARS. SAME UNDER CLINTON. It wasn't until Thursday that the feds even found out that there were people at the Convention Center LOCAL RESPONSIBILITY, NOT FEDERAL not until Friday before food and water arrived in quantity LOCAL RESPONSIBILITY. NOT FEDERAL. and not until Saturday that the last of the survivors were taken out of the shelters LOCAL RESPONSIBILITY, NOT FEDERAL. That's a solid week, WRONG. THE LEVEES BROKE ON TUESDAY. THAT'S FIVE DAYS, NOT "A SOLID WEEK." Air Force Logistics Officer -- seven days (I know, in the Air Force a week is only five days, and you started counting two days after the disaster started, but trust me on this one -- the real number is seven). Human beings without water live three days. WRONG AGAIN. EVEN IF HE WAS RIGHT, GETTING WATER TO THE SHELTER IS AN INDIVIDUAL AND LOCAL RESPONSIBILITY.

I've seen Maytag washers that didn't have as much spin as that piece.

"The United States military can wipe out the Taliban and the Iraqi Republican Guard far more swiftly than they can bring 3 million Swanson dinners to an underwater city through an area the size of Great Britain which has no power, no working ports or airports, and a devastated and impassable road network.

Three college kids from Duke got to the New Orleans Convention Center in a two-wheel drive Hyundai days before the National Guard did.

OK, LET'S NOT MAKE TOO BIG A SHOW OF YOUR IGNORANCE HERE. THE LOUISIANA NATIONAL GUARD WAS ON SCENE BEFORE THE STORM EVEN ARRIVED. EVEN IF THEY WEREN'T, YOU HAVE TO BE PRETTY CLUELESS NOT TO FIGURE OUT THAT THE LOGISTICS OF LOADING UP THREE COLLEGE KIDS IN A HYUNDAI IS A BIT DIFFERENT THAN PUTTING TOGETHER A RELIEF COLUMN THAT CAN PROVIDE FOR ITS OWN SECURITY AND SUPPORT.

AND YOU HAVE TO BE BONE CRUNCHINGLY IGNORANT NOT TO FIGURE OUT THAT THE NATIONAL GUARD WHOM YOU ARE CRITICIZING IS NOT A FEDERAL ASSET, BUT A STATE ASSET.


And let's not forget the New Mexico National Guard -- mounted up and ready to ride on Sunday, the day before the hurricane hit, while people were still going to the shelters. They didn't get permission to roll until the following Thursday. GOVERNOR'S GOTTA ASK FOR THEM SPECIFICALLY. THERE ARE STATE-TO-STATE AGREEMENTS THAT COVER THOSE MOVES. AND THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF OF THE LOUISIANA NATIONAL GUARD DOES NOT HAVE TO GET PERMISSION FROM WASHINGTON BEFORE SENDING THEM. That holdup wasn't at the local level, guy. Your "grown-ups" running FEMA were too busy doing Tequilla Shooters in college and pretending that being an intern in an assistant city manager's office was the same thing as being an assistant city manager to figure out that you have to be fast off the dime when real people will lose real lives if you're hanging out with one thumb in your mouth and one in your ass playing "switch."

"You cannot speed recovery and relief efforts up by prepositioning assets (in the affected areas) since the assets are endangered by the very storm which destroyed the region.

No, numbnuts -- you preposition them outside of the area. Say -- New Mexico. Wisconsin. Minnesota. Then you move them in. WELL, SPECIFICALLY, YOU STAGE MUCH OF IT AT THE NEAREST FEMA CENTER. IN THIS CASE IT WAS MOSTLY ATLANTA. AND THEN IT TAKES A FEW DAYS TO GET THE STUFF THERE. ATLANTA-NEW ORLEANS IS A DAY'S DRIVE UNDER PERFECT CONDITIONS. IT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT WHEN THE BRIDGES ARE KNOCKED OUT. Do I have to explain all this to you? DO I HAVE TO EXPLAIN ALL THIS TO YOU? I already mentioned the New Mexico troops who were hanging out waiting for the order to go. Shall we mention the civilian contractors in Wisconsin with truckloads of water and ice who were held up, then misdirected by hundreds of miles to the wrong locations where no one was present to offload their supplies?

EVER HEARD OF "FRICTION?" THE SAME SHIT HAPPENS DURING AN 82ND AIRBORNE FIELD PROBLEM ON A REGULAR BASIS.

"No amount of yelling, crying and mustering of moral indignation will change any of the facts above."

No amount of spinning, whining, or lying by omission will make this anything other than a botch from top to bottom. And any time you're ready to present facts rather than puffed up excuses, I'm ready to listen.

Those "Hurricane Pam" plans that were supposedly made? They weren't made or promulgated-- they were cut from the budget. And during that exercise FEMA spent its time blowing smoke, promising supplies it didn't have on a timeline it couldn't meet, using assets it couldn't locate. Only later did the local guys who were relying on FEMA to hold up their side of the bargain discover that it was all big talk from small men.

"You cannot just snap your fingers and make the military appear somewhere," van Steenwyk said.

No, you don't do it by snapping your fingers. You do it with planning. You know the Seven Ps? Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance. Out in the world that's the way things really work.

Guardsmen need to receive mobilization orders; report to their armories; draw equipment; receive orders and convoy to the disaster area. Guardsmen driving down from Pennsylvania or Navy ships sailing from Norfolk can't be on the scene immediately.

Guardsmen all over the country were getting their mobilization orders on Friday and Saturday before the event. They were standing by (the ones that weren't in Iraq). FEMA was sucking its thumb. FEMA, SIR, DOES NOT COMMAND NATIONAL GUARD ASSETS. THAT IS PURELY A GOVERNOR SHOW, AND A HISTORICALLY JEALOUSLY GUARDED PEROGATIVE.

After the event is a hell of a time to start thinking of what you're going to need. Planning. What grown-ups do. Remember?

DISASTER PLANNING IS A STATE AND LOCAL RESPONSIBILITY. IT WAS BLANCO'S JOB TO FIGURE OUT WHAT ASSETS SHE WOULD NEED. NOT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT'S. AND NO, "EVERYTHING YOU'VE GOT" DOES NOT HELP ANYONE CONFIGURE AND PRIORITIZE A SINGLE TRUCK LOAD OF SUPPLIES.

Norfolk to New Orleans by way of the Florida Straits is around 1,600 miles. At a 20 knot speed made good, that's 80 hours. If a hospital ship and a couple of amphibs set sail when Katrina turned north on Saturday morning, they have been at New Orleans by mid-day Tuesday.

HEY, GENIUS, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.

Thinking ahead. Planning. Coordination. What FEMA was supposed to be doing. These were supposed to be grown-ups, remember? They'd been given important jobs and were receiving serious paychecks for doing them.

Brown and Chertoff weren't engineers. They were lawyers, and not terribly good ones. They had fancy friends who gave 'em nice cushy jobs. Not a lad among 'em had a lick of common sense or a day's experience with genuine disasters, planning for them, or recovering from them.

FLATLY FALSE. BROWN WAS FEMA DIRECTOR FOR SEVERAL HURRICANES ALREADY. THERE ARE LOTS OF CONCERNS ABOUT ACCOUNTABILITY OF FUNDS (WITNESS MIAMI RESIDENTS GETTING FEMA CHECKS FOR STORMS THAT NEVER STRUCK MIAMI), BUT THE ADEQUACY OF FEDERAL RESPONSE HAD NEVER BEEN PROBLEMATIC. BECAUSE, FRANKLY, THE STATE OF FLORIDA KNOWS WHAT IT'S DOING, AND HOW TO WORK WITH FEMA.

There's your scandal. An incompetent put other incompetents in charge of something important.

IT HAS NOT BEEN ESTABLISHED THAT EITHER MAN IS INCOMPETENT. THE COMMENTOR HAS NOT YET PROVIDED AN EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING FEMA IS DOCTRINALLY TASKED TO DO WHICH IT DID NOT DO.

Relief efforts must be planned. Other than prepositioning supplies near the area likely to be afflicted (which was done quite efficiently), this cannot be done until the hurricane has struck and a damage assessment can be made. There must be a route reconnaissance to determine if roads are open, and bridges along the way can bear the weight of heavily laden trucks.

Only the first sentence of that paragraph is true.

THE COMMENTER IS ARGUING THAT THERE IS NO NEED FOR PREPOSITIONING OF SUPPLIES? THAT SUCH WAS NOT DONE (390 TRUCKS WORTH), THAT THERE IS NO NEED FOR A ROUTE RECON? NO NEED FOR A BRIDGE RECON AND STRUCTURAL ASSESSMENT BEFORE THE FIRST SEMI CROSSES OVER? THIS GUY'S SO CLUELESS HE'S DANGEROUS!


And federal troops and Guardsmen from other states cannot be sent to a disaster area until their presence has been requested by the governors of the afflicted states.

Like New Mexico's troops?

PRECISELY. THE GOVERNOR OF LOUISIANA MUST REQUEST THE PRESENCE OF, OR ASSENT TO, THE PRESENCE OF OUT OF STATE GUARDSMEN.

So they libel as a "national disgrace" the most monumental and successful disaster relief operation in world history.

If that was a success, Lord save us all from a clusterfuck.

I'm looking forward to a full, honest investigation of this fiasco.

A FULL AND HONEST INVESTIGATION IS PROBABLY NOT GOING TO FIND WHAT YOU THINK IT FINDS.

I'd like to see it soon. I'd like to see it followed up by indictments. And jail time.

YOU'RE TOO FUNNY. I SUSPECT MAYOR NAGIN WILL BE THE FIRST TO GO DOWN, PROBABLY FOR CORRUPTION.

An impeachment wouldn't be a bad idea either.

I'M SURE BLANCO WILL BE FINE.

HERE'S YOUR TINFOIL HAT.