COUNTERCOLUMN: All Your Bias Are Belong to Us

That pretty much describes this Dad, this reporter, and anyone else who takes this news story at face value.

John Tod of Mesa had been prepared to face Father's Day worrying about his son's pending date with the war in Iraq.

Then Uncle Sam stepped in with more disappointing developments.

Marine Pfc. Jeremy Tod called home with news that his superiors were urging him and fellow Marines to buy special military equipment, including flak jackets with armor plating, to enhance the prospects of their survival.

Ooooh. A Pfc. An E-2. That's one rank below a private first class in the Army. Now THERE'S someone who knows how the supply system works.

There are sufficient flak jackets in theater, with kevlar plates, to equip everyone in theater now. But they are not sitting in warehouses at Cherry Point and Camp Pendleton, dumbass! A departing unit gives them up in Kuwait and the incoming unit picks them up. Basic Class II stuff.

I don't expect a pfc to know that. And I certainly wouldn't expect a pfc's dad to understand it when he's operating with second or third or fourth hand information.

So why would a reporter believe him?

Answer: Because this dad's story fits the template. The reporter is writing the story he WANTS to hear, because he thinks he's got a scoop. He's not writing the story that's actually there. Which is, to be sure, not much of a story in the first place.

But does this reporter bother to call anyone at the unit - say, the Battalion S-4 - to get to the bottom of it? No. He calls the ONE man in the Marine Corps who's least likely to know what went on: A Marine Corps spokesperson. Sure, the spokesperson can make a few calls and get back to the reporter in a day or two. But this reporter doesn't wait for an answer. He's not interested in the facts of the story: He just gets a quick, cheap quote and moves on. It's "check the block" reporting. He does just the bare minimum so he can say he got a quote from a Marine Corps spokesperson, but quotes Dad at length.

Yes, he does say that Dad's opposed to the war in Iraq. He throws transparency a meager morsel. And that allows us to figure out that Dad - who presumeably called the reporter - how else did the reporter get the story? - just might have a little agenda of his own.

But does that prompt the reporter in to being a little extra careful? Maybe digging into the story a little bit more?

No.

Further:

He said they strongly suggested he get this equipment because when they get to Iraq they will wish they had," Tod said.

Ok, who's "they?" Is that from the command? Or did that originate with Joe Snuffy E-4 team leader, who might have done an Iraq tour and saw some of the Special Forces guys with some cool gear?

Am I really going to believe that the Marine outfit isn't issuing load-bearing equipment? Bullshit.

Does the reporter bother calling anyone else in the unit to check it out?

No.

By the way, I've got boxes full of knee and elbow pads, in a quiet corner of the National Guard. Had 'em for years. Had 'em long before the Iraq war. I know the USMC has them, too. They might not issue them to typists, though. I don't know if this kid's in the infantry or not, but not everybody needs a set of kneepads.

I've got Camelbaks, too. Didn't have 'em when we got mobilized. They only became common about five years ago. But we did get them on the way over, through the mobilization station. They wouldn't neccessarily be on the unit property book, because, first of all, MOST TROOPS DON'T FREAKING NEED THEM!!!!

They're great to have, especially out on patrol, and in certain contexts, they make it easier to hydrate. (They're also bacteria farms unless you bleach them once in a while). But for the vast majority of soldiers, two 1 quart canteens and a five quart will suffice.

The unit has only a limited Class II budget. It's up to the commander what he spends it on. Maybe the commander knew he would get Camelbaks going forward, and used the money to buy weapons cleaning kits instead.

The reporter didn't bother to find out.

Of course, like a true moron, he called the congressman.

We're supposed to have a professional army," he said, "the best in the world. And we're not providing them with the type of gear they need to protect themselves as they do their jobs."

We do. And while you don't get every single gee-whiz item you'd like to have, anyone with a lick of historical perspective understands that ours is far and away the best-equipped Army in the history of the Planet Earth.

This Dad has no idea what the fuck he's talking about.

His dad says America was better served with the military draft because today's professional army is not representative of the country's economic and cultural spectrum.

Hmmm. Hooookay. Dad can't tell the difference between the Marine Corps and the Army, but he can speak with authority on whether America was better served by the military draft.

He's 45 years old, and would have no adult memory of a time before the all-volunteer Army. He was 18 years old in 1978 or so.

Marine Maj. Nat Frahy, a spokesman in Washington, said the military issues equipment, but it's possible that young Tod's commanders told him that it was perfectly OK to buy equipment that would help him on the battlefield.

Yep. Troops do it all the time. You don't need to get the latest fad gadget on sale at Ranger Joe's (and make no mistake - a lot of these things are fads). Troops see cool gear that might be able to make life 0.00000003% easier in the field, and they spend a small fortune on it.

That's their decision. Not the Bush Administration's.

I suppose this article is filed under "columnist," so I guess we can't fault him, even though the whole story looks like it's been spoonfed to him from the DNC.

But we can sure as hell fault him for laziness and a reckless disregard for the truth.

Splash, out

Jason