Thursday, November 13, 2003

An Open Letter to the Baghdad Press Corps 
Dear Chainsmoking, Unwitting Stooges,

So how come we can get mortared several times a week out here and it never makes the news, but the pogues in the green zone can catch three measly mortar rounds and I get my Dad emailing me asking why the Baghdad Press corps is covering it like it’s the second Tet Offensive?

Well, Christ on a crotch-rocket, I don’t have an answer for him!

And if it’s big enough to warrant a live network news spot, then why are the reporters standing outside without Kevlars and flak jackets, and illuminating themselves with TV lights? How dumb is that?

Sure, it’s news. But shouldn’t producers and editors be bringing that news into perspective? It takes two knuckleheads to set up and fire a mortar. If I looked different and spoke Arabic, I could go downtown right now with 100 dollars US and probably come back with a 61mm mortar tube and several rounds of ammo within 3 hours, easily.

So two knuckleheads, 100 bucks, and you have an International Media Event.

Why? Because the Baghdad green zone has a Chili’s restaurant and you can get booze there and get easy stories without having to venture a mile from your hotel rooms.

I know you guys hate it when you get manipulated by the spin doctors at the Pentagon, the brokerage houses, or wherever else your beats take you. Doesn’t it bother you when you get led around by the nose by two assholes with a destructive hobby and a truck?

Since when does a 30 second ad spot on Fox News cost 100 bucks?

You guys have GOT to get out more!

Very respectfully,
Yr. obt. svt., etc.,


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