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Friday, September 02, 2005

This just in: The Countercolumn News Ticker 
New Orleans devastated
Human filth, degeneracy approaching baseline levels...


Dozens of accordian players missing, feared alive...

Hurricane takes toll on Cajun fiddlers
“Intonation better than ever,” say musicologists...
Steel guitarists, dobro players around the world rejoice...

“Survivor” moves to semi-finals, new venue to be announced...

Among New Orleans residents: despair, whining...

Thousands reduced to begging for food on the streets
“Business as usual,” say New Orleans officials...

Officials struggle to save white man trapped in New Orleans...

TV News Networks searching for hot missing white girls to cover...

Democrats bemoan hurricane tragedy, cost of prescription drugs...

Title of official New Orleans song changed to “When The Saints Go Wading In.”

New Orleans rape victims “asked for it,” say disgusted officials...

Rumors of WMDs in the Delta trigger massive federal effort...

Katrina Devastates New Orleans!
France Surrenders to Germany...

ACLU files suit on behalf of looters, rapists...

Developing

Comments:
N.O. Sanitation head: Once we can drain the bowl, it'll be just like cleaning up after Mardi Gras
 
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